wow the last time i updated this one was in august...thats  so sad

well school sucks big time...cant wait for high school...if i dont get acepted into santa sue then i'll just suffer for two years at royal and then go to moorpark college high school program...

im gr at hubs for liking chirsty.

im gr at myself.

and right about now i feel like sitting in the dark listening to my hawthorne not thinking of hubs

lost

pissed off

bored stiff

wanting to get the hell out of here and just be by my fucking lonesome self...

and yet some what:

happy cuz im talkin to nick!he always makes me happy!!!

yea today was boring but nothing different...o well...

late-alex

yeah i know this username is just a waste since i dont update very much on it but o well...since not every one knows this one i Can say fucking shit about someone im mad at or something and they wouldnt care...the thing is im not really pissed off at anyone right now so i dont really got anything to say...

but also i can say stuff lyke im so depressed that i feel lyke killing myself and no one will say"dont say that!its not true!ur life is so fucking great dont ever say that!"i hate those little fuckers...they really piss me off because they dont know what ur going through and when u tell them they dont understand in the first place and then they might tell someone else about it and then somehow u get it to the person u REALLY didnt want to know about it.

right now i really dont lyke anyone...ive tried and tried to get over lyking tanner since its never gunna happen.but i also am starting to lyke jeremy but i dont know if i lyke him more than a friend yet...o well...ill see.especially when school starts.

im so confused.if i dress punk when i go to school people might call me a poser but if i dress preppy then i actually might get a boyfriend.or someone might lyke me.Im so not preppy!!!!!this sucks.i dont know what to do with my life anymore....im not either prepy or punk!!im other!!!HELP ME!!!!

alex

u would never know how it feels to be me...wanna know how i feel right now....worthless.

thinking that ur so called friends is spending time with the guy you r lyke in love with and they know u r...feelings would be...mixed,r theese people really ur friends,why r they doing this to u if they r,do they think that u r too young to be hanging arround them?thoose r some questions that go through my mind...ever single day...im not saying any names but i hope that its obvious that they/u that im talking to them/u.

alex

i leave tomorrow at lyke 6 at night here and then the plane takes off at 10 30 and we wont get there until 5 or something...i dont know but that would be real early our time....(if any of you r planing on calling me remember that its a 3 hour time difference!!thanks)o man i cant wait!!its gunna be soo much fun!!! im really gunna miss all of you alot!!!!espeacialy a few people...(eryn and ******.but eryn way more)still in love with three days grace so if anyone wants to buy me the cd....jk!!

today i got a manicure & pedicure...fun eh?they r hot pink and my big toes have palm trees on them!!i also worked on eryn's surprise!!it looks plain but really cool so far...i promise i will have it done the next time i see you!!!the 8th right??

im still not over ****** as u can tell...but i really dont lyke it!it makes me so weird feeling...i really wanna know how he feels to know that i lyke him....i dont think he knows...i think he thinks that i dont lyke him anymore...

I FINALLY GOT THAT AWAY MESSEGE ERYN!!!GO ME!!!!it was...today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

woah something i actually get in life!!so cool!!i got my camera back today!!it works again!!!im gunna be taking so many pictures while im gone!!not of me of course!!not saying i am ugly...just that i dont wanna have a lot of pictures of me!

alex!